Spirit Animal Reading for me by Archana

Truly, the Internet is an amazing tool.  Through Facebook, I met Archana, who lives in California.  It was one of those random/non-random experiences, as she was really just a photo on a friend's page that caught my eye.  We leapt into profound connection and exchanged readings with each other.  I provided her with an astrology reading and she gave me a  Spirit Animal reading, which I am sharing with you below,  including my comments about each card.  These reading processes are deeply helpful and, I believe, should become part of everyone's spiritual practice at regular (maybe every birthday) and as needed intervals.  Below is a photo of the cards and the reading itself.

Archana,

Patience, I have found, is often rewarded ... and quite highly.  This reading is most helpful and dead on accurate.  I'll share my story after each position/card (and I did get the image of the cards, thank you).

On Sat, Jan 8, 2011 at 1:19 AM, archana sachdev <smilingbuddhess@yahoo.co.in> wrote:

Hey Philip, Thanks again for your patience.... 9 totem card reading expressing your soul's purpose and lessons in this birth 1-East-This animal guides you to your greatest spiritual challenges and guards your path to illumination. Blue Heron:This card is about diving into the depths of your inner self......go into your own unconscious/shadow work,in order to find your spiritual essence....it will help you develop inner strength and certainty of purpose...and trust your path...Hero emerges from the unseen world of spirit into a new balanced sense of self....

In August of 2009, I had a mental break that turned out to be a spiritual awakening.  I didn't have to be institutionalized or go on psychological medication, but I thought long and hard about both.  Fortunately I had the human support around me to help through the deep soul work that really caused me to withdraw from life for a while.  I'm still working through the tail end of it and in spiritual work terms that means probably another 6 months.  It's all part of several mid-life transits beginning with Pluto square my Natal Pluto, Uranus opposing my Natal Uranus, Neptune/Chrion squaring my Natal Neptune, and Saturn opposing my Natal Saturn (from 37 to 45).  For much of this time I have felt "lost" and unable to feel purposeful (especially the impact of Neptune/Chiron).  The depth work is finally revealing and renewing my purpose as a teacher, but it has been one hell of a descent into the underworld.

2- south - protects the child within and reminds you when to be humble and when to trust/balanced personality Frog- if you have been stressed take a break....relaxation/bath/cleansing....replenish your parched spirit.. getting rid of distractions...make the waters clear again... frog people have clearing energy,to remove negativity from any environment... so,the way to balance your personality would be- to take a break and cleanse yourself of any person place or thing that does not contribute to a new state of serenity and replenishment...

In June of 2010 we had a family move in with us.  The family was in pretty dire straits and we were looking for some intentional community to help us in the care of daughter and to ease the burden of life in general.  We were hoping for a win/win scenario.  Unfortunately the adult (single mother) has proved to be too unhappy to remain here and they are in the process of moving out.  The situation that was supposed to help relieve stress became a terrible source of stress.  It was only this past week that final arrangements to work out a plan to move out came into focus and I finally felt relief from a terrible tension.  This weekend and the next few weeks as they move more and more of their possession out of the house and into storage is a clearing period of negative energy.  Once they are completely gone, I will call upon the Frog energy to fully cleanse our home.

3- west- personal truth and inner answers...path to your goals Raven- magic/unknown.... power of the unknown is at work,and something special is about to happen... recognize it and use it to further your growth... bring the magical messages that come from the darkness/the void, in to light....in doing so you will honor the magician within.... so the path to your goals is,to openly receive messages from the world of mysteries,in to the light of the day-share it with people...

Neptune square Natal Neptune is a profound transit and it is about SURRENDER.  During this transit you must learn to react and accept what is given by the universe. I am deeply learning that lesson and it has been a challenge, especially for someone like me who has lived a life of control.  Control may be an illusion, but even so, my illusion/delusion was a pretty strong one and one I enjoyed.  Waiting for the mystery to unfold has been a great spiritual lesson for me, and not without some dark days.  But in the end and over the course of the journey, I have learned to trust that some times in life are about deep and profound listening.  And I do feel that many of the things I've heard since August of 2009 are messages I will share with the world, even if its just the people in my immediate life.

4- north- wise counsel and also-when to speak and when to listen Dog- reminds you that your  greatest loyalty must be towards your own truth being loving even to people who have wronged you,since you have a compassionate understanding of human shortcomings....be of service

This attribute has gotten stretched almost to the breaking point ... at least well past the point of being taken advantage of.  I have learned that while I need to be loving to people who have wronged me, I need to make sure going forward that I better guard against those in need who will be ungrateful or act entitled.  I do understand human shortcomings, but I also have learned that people must be responsible for and accept the consequences of their shortcomings and some of those consequences can be very, very harsh.  I have to help the people who want to be helped and appreciate help and turn away from the people who need to learn the lesson of failure.

5-above- how to honor the great star nation...dreamtime-personal access to the other world Spider- In order to access the other world, you need to 'CREATE' or you might be coming too close to an entagling situation use a journal to write down and review your progress-if you do this,you will be conscious about how you are creating a new phase of your won reality

My Sun has progressed into Gemini and I am still adjusting to the energy of this sign in my Solar path.  I had no idea how active the Gemini mind is and I am still trying to learn how to manage this constant pursuit of new ideas and information.  Writing has been the release valve, which occurs in my blogs and through Facebook actually.  I am reading more than I ever have and that's not a small thing to say since I've had periods in my life when reading was my professional obligation (graduate school).  I have novels and books on astrology and tarot clamoring around in my head that are not yet ready for the light of day, but are developing, percolating, peeking out, and at the ready to burst forth when the thoughts finally align.

6- below- about the inner earth,how to stay grounded on your path Coyote- medicine is about laughter and joking.... what helps you stay close to your own inner earth is having a light hearted playful attitude on one hand,but on the other hand also making sure that you are looking beyond illusions since this card can have a trickster energy,which can take you away from the reality.... so - sense of humor and staying in touch with reality through  meditation...

In the last 6 months, when doing a random draw from the Osho Zen Tarot, I have drawn the Playfulness card some 9 or 10 times.  Before starting to draw that card and from August 2009 until really August 2010, I lost my smile ... my inner smile and could not muster the energy to laugh.  Even my daughter's joy, which is immense and infectious could not penetrate deep enough to pull me out of my spiritual darkness.  But she did provide me with a tether and her laughter did keep me from falling completely into darkness, as did the support of my partner Betsy and my parents.  Without those tethers and many, many others along the way (friends, fellow astrologers, someone like you), I'm pretty sure I would have been swallowed up by the darkness.  Now I am laughing again and trying to play more while certainly feeling I have been "touched" by reality ... that profound, non-duality of reality :-).

7 - within - heart's joy,personal truths....protector of your sacred space... Owl- guides you to your personal truth by giving you a gift or 'clear vision' nobody can deceive you.....you may not be awar of your abilities,but people do....owl people know more about people's inner lives than they themselves do (this is certainly a good quality for an astrologer) you are being asked to use your own powers to intuit some life situation....owl might bring you msgs through dreams or meditation,you must listen in silence....maybe some omens...

Oh yes, I do feel my "eyes have been opened" about many things most recently and I am trying to manage how to use this newly found "clear vision."  My astrology work has most definitely benefited.  When I am in silence, I am listening with "clear ears" and it is amazing what I am hearing.  Not only am I experiencing my personal profound transformation, I am hearing the profound transformation of our world.  More than ever, I can see through people and this most recent situation involving the family has cleared a field of my vision in a truly dramatic way.

8 Right side- protector of male side- your father protector within, courage and warrior side wolf- teacher...you might be called to write or lecture to share knowledge with the world...to help people understand their path in life... shareing of great truths to take human consciousness to higher planes... seek lonely places to commune with the teacher within....look for teachings/teachers everywhere....

I recently started teaching in college again.  I have been allowed, by the universe, to find my way to a community college and I felt the most significant surge of my personal power teaching in a classroom again.  It is one of my callings, of which I am finding there are three great ones.  The other two are astrologer/tarot reader and priest.  They all intertwine.  I have thought of all the things I could be, could have been, and could still pursue, but, at the end of the day, I am a teacher and constantly being taught.

9 - left - protector of female side- learn to receive abundance,nurture yourself and others.... it also teaches about r'ships Don't worry about the future,not meant to be mentally 'figured out' "BE" embrace the unknown and flow with the mystery.... leap into the void with implicit 'TRUST' avoid interruptions and go into your own self discovery and healing process.... you will receive unexpected blessings.....

I have just reached this realization in the deep way necessary to reap the harvest of its message.  I became lost to regain my faith and to rediscover trust. 

Thank you so much for this reading.

Happy New Year

Well,

It's been a while since I posted.  The end of last year really filled up my days and I could not seem to find the right subject or the right time to write at length or regularly.  I started writing a beginning astrology series that I do want to continue this year and entries on mid-life transits.  I'm currently weathering my Uranus Opposition and Neptune Square, two transits people born between 1967 and 1970 will be experiencing until 2012.  I'm looking in the direction of my Saturn Opposition as my next mid-life entry.  I guess my new year's resolution, like many bloggers, is to try to write regularly and on topics of mutual interest to myself and my followers.  And hopefully I will pick up more followers.  Maybe I should plan a "Year in Review" entry that can coincide with significant transits and progressions.  That should definitely be a blog entry for this week or next.

But today I want to write about a fantastic opportunity that started my new year.  Back in December of 2005 I was ordained as a Priest of the Order of Melchizedek.  I chose this Order because the Priests and Priestesses are all of unique and, for the most part, self-designed faiths and practices.  At the height of my excitement I created a website for my priesthood which outlines my beliefs and practices.  One role I am able to perform, but, until January 1, 2011, had not performed is a marriage.  This past week, while trying to arrange a visit to my friends Adam and Anne, they asked me if I could marry two friends of theirs (Anna and Zachary).  I, of course, said, "yes, absolutely."  Our family traveled down to see them on New Year's Eve and we planned the wedding for New Year's Day.  The ceremony was very simple, by a pond, in the woods behind Adam/Anne and Zachary/Anna's houses.  It was such a fantastic way to start my new year.

2011 looks to be quite different from 2010 and the upcoming 2012.  I like to describe it as a lull between storm fronts, a time to prepare.  The storm has not cleared and the real thrust of it has not yet arrived; that will be the energetic work of 2012 to 2015, when Uranus (in Aries) squares Pluto (in Capricorn) and Neptune and Chiron permanently enter Pisces.  We will really feel the New Age with Jupiter, Saturn, Chiron, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto all in new signs.  But for this year, a time to gather your friends around you, save money, pay down debt, meditate, organize, ... prepare.  I'll be advising all my clients to prepare!  And that will mean different actions for different clients.  For myself I am trying to manifest my family closer to me, increased savings, more work, and continued good health.  I'm not looking to expand as much as I am looking to have enough and save my extra :-).  I still have a spiritual awakening journey to complete and I have one current hurdle that should help me start to see the downward slide.  2010 was a humdinger ... and my spiritual ears are still ringing ;-).  But I'm also still standing, and looking better in the pocket than Brett Farve ... who coincidentally is getting his Uranus Opposition at this time!

All in all, I want to wish everyone reading this blog a Happiest of New Years and appreciate your interest in my words.  Hopefully I will have plenty of brilliant ones for you this new year!

Philip

Mid-Life Transits (Uranus square Uranus - 41 to 43)

This blog entry will discuss the second of the four mid-life transits, the Uranus opposition (when transiting Uranus is opposite natal Uranus).  Uranus roughly reaches the middle of its journey back to itself at 42 and opposes its natal position.  When this happens we get a shock to the two houses involved in the opposition.  In my case the lightening strike moved into and is going through my 5th House and reaching across to my 11th House.  The Uranus opposition started impacting me in March of 2009, but really walloped me August 28, 2009 when tSaturn was conjunct nPluto at the same time that Uranus had gone Retrograde and backed up over the exact opposition for the second time.  It was on that day that I had a severe panic attack on my way to help a friend and had to pull of the highway and call 911.  I'm still amazed that my body could experience that much stress for several hours and still keep me conscious.  I was thrown completely out of my preexisting state of life and it was not fun.

For several months after the initial incident I struggled just to cope with life.  Fortunately, I had already quit my full time job, but unfortunately, I could not quit my role as stay-at-home parent.  My life partner, Betsy, and my parents stepped in and kept me afloat as I worked through health problems that put me in the hospital thinking I was having a heart attack (about a week later) and through various stress and liver tests.  Every medical test came back negative and my physician, who did a wonderful job with his tools, told me that after he went down the list, the one on the bottom was "its in your mind."  At the height of the initial panic attack I was able to get some "medication" to help me manage the symptoms and function on days when I would enter extreme states of overwhelm.  I put quotes around the word "medication" because it in no way offered me a solution to the core problem.  And, I found, I only really needed it when, surprise, surprise, I was left alone with my daughter.  When I had human support, I did not need the "medication."  And here was my big 5th/11th house shake down.

The 5th House is, essentially, the area of our lives where we begin to establish our independence through our creativity ... it is, for me as an Astrologer, the house of the teenager energy ... creative, dramatic, full of one self, romantic, and playful.  The 11th House is our commitment to community and our authentic role in community.  The universe, without a doubt, brought me down a notch or 100 to teach me that individuals cannot actually "do it alone" and we really, really should not be as isolated as we are, especially in Western societies.  When profound crisis strikes we do not have the human networks in place to help us manage the crisis in a way that can be completely healthy and decidedly healing.  And if the crisis is "in your mind" as mine certainly was/is, then medical science is only helpful on a symptomatic level and not a curing level.  Yes we have psychology, and it is useful, but what we really lack is a mature spirituality to address what is essentially a spiritual transformation.  I thank Gaia for Astrology.  More than any other tool or process, working over my own chart or having other professionals give me input has kept me off the drugs and limited my use of therapy, which was very helpful because I had a therapist comfortable discussion both Astrology and Past Lives.

As it turns out I'm getting a chance to correct a past life that occurred 1500 years ago in India, when I was a priest and father during a plague.  In that life time I had a daughter, who is again my current daughter, Maya.  Her mother was not present; it was just her and me.  Due to my responsibilities and the situation of the plague I sent her away and could not forgive myself for doing so.  Not long after our separation, I committed suicide by drowning.  I was cruising along in my life as a father in this life time until she turned 4 and 1/2 and I am sure those past life feelings were activated (her Moon and my moon are almost exactly conjunct at 21D of Libra, for me hers is in my 11th and for her mine is in her 1st).  Suddenly I became deeply worried about what would happen to her if something happened to me and wham, instant, overwhelming anxiety.  Let me paint the scenario for  you.

We live along a major road, not in a neighborhood (not that it would help that much in the US anyway), and Betsy's parents live 5 states away.  My parents live over an hour a way.  We do not have lives where people just stop by regularly.  So here's a very real scenario; something could happen to me after Betsy goes to work early in the morning and my daughter would be without help until Betsy came home.  If I blacked out, there would be no one check on her and that thought horrified (and still horrifies me).  I immediately began to reach out to people and try to make changes that would prevent such a catastrophe.  But this is the common "nuclear family" life in my culture ... and it is, thanks to my Uranus opposition, unequivocally and fundamentally wrong.  Most of my life has been about "being the strong one for others" and "going it alone" and now I was face to face with utter horror of modern life and its disdain for family.  We need community, not credit cards and indulgent consumption.  We need networks of friends and family staying constant, gentle interaction because I can say, without a doubt, that being the sole caretaker of my child makes earning PhD like opening a Cracker Jack box and pulling out the diploma.  I don't write these words with a smile on my face.  Parenting is hard, parenting well is a monumental challenge. 

I suddenly and deeply felt the "rightness" of community, but not haphazard community.  What we need more of are intentional communities, thoughtful, supportive, with high expectations of members and the group. When I think of the best of an intentional community containing many parents, I think of "distributed responsibility," which helps take stress off of everyone.  This country and my culture sure as hell needs a better model.  With that in mind I began to look a radical (Uranian) ways of living that might put us in touch with this kind of community and help me heal with human support instead of pharmacological masking.  While we did not find one that suited us, we did learn a lot and have worked instead on building our relationships much more intentionally.  Its really a book's worth of material for each transit.  

At the essence, image you are a tree in a storm and lightening bolt strikes from the top of your trunk searing down and splitting you all the way to your roots, exploding all your trunk and limbs out into the storm.  That's what I got and what most people will get even if it all happens internally.  Now, image that occurring on the global scale to everyone currently 40 to 42 in every country of the world!

Mid-Life Transits (Pluto square Pluto - 34 to 37)

I've been trying to find my stride with this blog and have decided I want to take a new, more personal direction.  Other astrologers do an outstanding job looking at global events, namely Jamie Darkstar and Richard Tarnas come to mind.  I've taken a look at the US chart and have enjoyed writing about what I found there, which is mostly a lot of turmoil over the next 10 years.  The world is definitely going through some growing pains.  I've also started some posts on beginning astrology and how to get started.  I hope to continue those posts intermittently over the course of my writing time, hopefully another 40 or so years :-).  Maybe after I've posted on all 79 cards of the Osho Zen deck, I'll be ready to pick another deck and work my way through.  Another writing project to unfold over the long hall.

But for right now and the foreseeable future, I'd like to pick up a new thread and write more personally about the series of mid-life transits that are currently kicking my spiritual rear end.  I am currently 42 and if you are as well, then you should know my kind of struggle as well.  In fact, the full range of mid-life transits essentially run from 37 to 45, peaking at different times for different people based on the year of birth.  If you were born between 1965 and 1973, then you are at the beginning, in the thick of, or wrapping up four major energy transits involving the transiting energy point and the identical natal energy point.  These are: tPluto square nPluto, tUranus opposite nUranus, tNeptune square nNeptune, and tSaturn opposite nSaturn.  The severity and intensity of these transits will vary based on other birth chart aspects and transiting aspects.  Those of us lucky to be born in the 1968 to 1970 range of the time period got our Uranus opposition as part of a t-square involving tSaturn opposite tUranus square tPluto!

On a personal note I began the journey to my spiritual awakening/shift in mid-March 2002 when I could begin to be influenced by tPluto on my nPluto (allowing for a 3 degree Orb of influence).  In mid-March tPluto was at 17D44M of Sagittarius and the work of this transit began in earnest.  During this year I finally decided to ask my wife for a separation and divorce.  I had met my birth mother at the beginning of the year (we had been corresponding for almost a year, and we finally met in 2002).  tPluto's work was pretty dramatic in the year  plus leading up to the first exact opposition in January of 2004.  One year to the day after my separation papers were filed (August 13, 2003), I met Betsy, my life partner and soul mate and change rapidly followed suit.  We moved into together three weeks after meeting, we discussed having children and got pregnant in May of 2004, and bought a house (the one we currently live in) in October of 2004.  Maya, our daughter, was born in January 2005.

Perhaps what I remember as most profound for me during the time of my separation was a sudden desire to have a child or be involved in a child's life (Big Brother or even foster care).  That feeling was the most "out of the blue" experience for me, as I would have easily been voted by my high school and college classes as the person least likely to have children.  Somewhere in my heart I guess I knew I should not have children with my wife and once free of that relationship the idea had some room to percolate.  It would certainly take a book worth of writing to describe all the changes that occurred after a fairly stable period of life between 1994 and 2000.  Granted that period of time had some big events, earning my PhD, getting my career job, an affair, but over a longer stretch of time and associated with other key transits (namely my Saturn Return).  But nothing like the level and multiplicity of changes brought on by Pluto activating itself!

Throughout 2004 tPluto went square with itself three times (January <direct>, June <retrograde>, and November <direct>) before finally moving on out of  Orb (3 degrees) in November of 2005. So the full range of impact lasted from March of 2002 until November of 2005 (from the ages of 34 to 37).  tPluto was doing its work in my 2nd House of Values and Resources and, without a doubt, my values and resources shifted tremendously.  I went from being married and owning a home to giving that home to my ex-wife and paying support to living in a one bedroom apartment (I loved that apartment) to owning a home again (but instead of me paying for it, my partner Betsy did).  I got out of a failing and mutually unhealthy relationship, dated around, and entered back into a long-term relationship that, so far, has proven deeply healing and extremely healthy (and is not a marriage).  I did not realize that this period was just the beginning of a period that will span another three to five years.

At the heart of the transition was the squaring energy of nPluto in Virgo in my 11th House with tPluto moving through Sagittarius my 2nd House.  My community went through a radical change as I left my marriage behind and entered into a new, more spiritually invested relationship.  One of our first dates was to the Body, Mind, and Spirit Expo in Raleigh, NC where we had our aura photos taken.  We would visit the expo twice a year and soon after our first year of visits, I had gotten a booth to do tarot readings.  My previous community, largely made up of friendships around my marriage and my relationships with my co-workers dissolved and reformed in a community of spiritually minded practitioners, ranging from psychics to massage therapists to henna artists and fellow tarot readers.  I also completed the tattoo back mural of Pegasus flying over the ruins of the Temple at Tholos, a site for the Delphic Oracle.

Now that I write about these transformations, I really see the power of this transit and its broad and deep impact on my life.  If you are between 30 and 33 and feeling some calm after your Saturn return, fasten your seat belt for the first of the four mid-life transits because, change will be a-coming!

Mercury Retrograde 12/11/2010 to 12/30/2010

Mercury will retrograde from Capricorn back into Sagittarius energizing us to slow down on our goals and plans and review our intentions.  I like to think of Mercury Retrograde like the proofreading and rewriting phase of a school paper, article for publication, or writing a book.  We thrust ourselves into the creative writing process by developing an idea or story in our minds that eventually becomes a first draft, both manifestations of Mercury Direct.  After the first draft is complete, we should take the time to review the work and refine it because, very rarely, is a first draft sufficient ... and even email or Facebook comments can most often use a proofreading.  In general, at this time, we should all be feeling pretty good, or much improved, as all remaining energy points are direct.  Uranus finally released on 12/6/2010 and went Direct, following the release/Direct of Jupiter, Chiron, and Neptune.  When Mercury goes Direct on 12/30/2010, every energy point will be direct until Saturn goes Retrograde on 1/26/2010.

Mercury gets a bad rap when Retrograde because we live in the Western mindset, which is a frontier, forward moving, go hard at all times mentality.  So, when a natural rhythm to slow down, proofread, review, take inventory, check safety protocols, check the service on your car, comes up and we DO NOT do any of those procedures or follow any of those actions, we usually get a mess, a wreck, a bad business arrangement, a faulty contract, and broken this or that.  As I've studied Astrology more and more and found myself getting more and more in tune with my body, I'm observing more of the patterns.  Last night I laid down on the sofa at 7PM, moved to the bed at 9PM and got up at 7AM.  Now, normally, I will fall asleep around 10:30 or 11PM and get up, like clock work, at 5:30AM ... not so on the first day of Mercury Retrograde.

With Mercury Direct in Capricorn we should all have been feeling, in our thinking, a desire to pursue or establish goals and achievements based on the house occupied by Capricorn in our charts and aspects of Mercury in Capricorn to other energy points in our chart.  This period should have been like the creative idea bursting out onto the first draft of the page.  Now with Mercury going backwards in Capricorn and into Sagittarius, we need to spend the next 19 days reviewing, proofreading, and revising our goals and aspirations in those areas of our lives.  Use this period to slow down and take your time, including in your Christmas shopping ;-).  But most of all, especially if you like to have a New Year's goal list, go over it twice, maybe four times.  Think about your long range plans for 2011, which will, based on energy movements for the year, be pretty quiet compared to the fireworks planned for 2012 and until 2015.

Happy Holidays to all!

Tarot Meditation Card for the Day - Osho Zen Tarot - Ace of Water, Going With the Flow

The Ace of Water is always a positive card to draw, even if executing the message is difficult

This card is difficult in its simplicity because we often do not want to accept certain flows of emotion, especially if a situation calls for us to let go of and emotional situation that is obviously flowing away from us.  Drawing this card at this time in my life is profound because I have been battling anxiety that arises from my constant worries about the state of the world.  You would think that, as a child of the 80s, and thus a child living at the peak of the cold war and the constant threat of nuclear annihilation, that I would have used up my worry quotient a long time ago.  There was no movie quite as frightening as Wargames even though it was a story told mostly as a comedy.

Little did I know or could I know what real worry feels like until I became a parent.  And now, I would have to say, this time is different.  At no point in human history have we actually come close to having a profound negative impact on the entire biosphere, but we are reaching that point.  And for all my Zen studies and "trust the universe" spirituality, I have been acutely attuned to  the out of control behavior of our species at a truly global level.  I am, to say the least, having some trouble going with the flow when it looks like the flushing of a toilet.  But, if it is ... the flushing of a toilet ... then I need to get on board with the flow and try to enjoy the swirl.  More to the point this card asks us to look at how we placed ourselves in life.  I, for example, did not choose to be a policy decision maker, either as a corporate CEO or politically elected official.  I have no designs on the White House or even Mayor of a small town.  I will be buffeted by decisions out of my control because, spiritually speaking, I didn't come here to make the effort to play at that level.

When I sit with that knowledge, I begin to see more clearly the real flow of my life, as a father, a teacher, a counselor (through Astrology and Tarot), a partner, a son, and a friend.  Drawing this card tells me not only to go with the flow, but to go with my flow and I like my flow very much.  When or if a flush comes, I'll adjust my flow, but trying to satisfy worry over the untold future really is a pointless endeavor.  Find your flow and go with it!

Tarot Meditation Card for the Day - Osho Zen Tarot - Ace of Rainbows, Maturity

I am glad I drew the Ace of Rainbows, Maturity, today.  The card is beautifully positive.

"The distinction between the grasses and the blossoms is the same as between you not knowing that you are a Buddha, and the  moment you know that you are a Buddha.  In fact, there is no other way to be otherwise.  Buddha is completely blossomed, fully opened.  His or her lotuses and petals have come to completion ..." (159).  Interestingly, in the Osho Zen Tarot, the Ace comes at the end of the sequence, not the beginning.  When you draw this card you are asked to think of all the completions you have attained at this time in your life and how they have blossomed.

Specifically, for me, I relate the card to my journey in education.  In 1996 I earned my PhD in English from UNC-Greensboro and began a career that spanned 11 years and, apparently, concluded in 2007 when I retired from UNC.  In the three years since, and actually two years before my retirement (2005), for a total of five years, I have not taught in a university setting.  I had considered that my teaching career in that venue was likely finished.  However, about six months ago I decided to dust off my Vita and polish it up in an attempt to look for a teaching position.  I knew, without a doubt, that it would be a long shot for me to get a position having been out of the classroom for five years and out of the academy for three.  Fortunately, several of the local community colleges allow you to put your Vita on file, giving one the opportunity to be contacted in a time of need instead of seeking a standing position.  Such was my luck.

About two months ago I got a call from the head of Wake Tech's Division of Continuing Education to teach a GRE Seminar.  I was most thankful for the call and very interested in the opportunity.  Since retiring and going through all that I have gone through, I felt and currently feel that I have a much more profound understanding of my profession ... a greater Maturity ... if you will.  I was 24 when I taught my first college class, Beginning Composition at UNCG in 1992.  Looking back, I can hardly believe the university turned me loose on a group of students, several of whom were older than me at the time.  In all, and on the whole, I think the experience was positive for everyone, but now, with so much more life under my belt (a marriage and divorce, retirement from a career, the birth and primary care of my daughter) I feel just mature enough to be teaching :-).  My GRE course was a great pleasure to teach and now I have two English courses out in front of me for the Spring semester of 2011.  

I am glad that teaching is not done with me, and feel, instead, that maybe now I'm mature enough to really do great work in the classroom.  It will be interesting to see how it all unfolds.